Published on Saturday, 28th April, 2007 .
I see the tories are putting up a fight in my election rigging poll, holding the Lib Dems to a 2 votes each tie for second place, with the SNP holding on to a single vote lead. Labour have yet to receive a single vote! I was fairly surprised by this with the leaning through the rest of the poll/area in general slightly to the left, bang where labour voters normally are! Still, rats and sinking ships eh…
Remember you CAN make a difference! lol
Here’s the story behind this if you’ve not been keeping up.
{democracy:2}
btk
Published on Tuesday, 24th April, 2007 .
I met Jyll today. She’s great, a nicer person one couldn’t meet. Pity I was in full stinkyhouse uniform and probably smelling of toilet. I did notice she didn’t get too close! lol. She was bringing me my Hot Tamales sweeties(for which I still owe something) at the place I was working.
Now I have discovered something else. If you eat two boxes of them(8 servings) you can’t actually taste anything in the centre part of your tongue, even Hot&Spicy smoked sausage. The sensation is very strange, you can feel food there but no taste. It’s like chewing rubber or something tasteless but with the texture of food. Perhaps it’s what Quorn is like. 
Thanks Jyll. 
btk
Published on Monday, 23rd April, 2007 .
Took the servers down and as such I’ve had to learn entirely too much SQL than one would deem necessary. Thank god for google caches though! I’m going to backup this thing lots and lots now… not that anyone would have noticed my absence eh… 
The excellent Jyll has gotten me Hot Tamales from the United States. Coolness!! I’ll be texting you tomorrow mate to pick them up!
Ever noticed how when you can’t post for some reason you have lots to put up, then when it’s all good again you can’t remember a damn thing? I hate that. I know I have a bitch about the council to put on here but I can’t be arrised at the moment. Oh and I’m now on day 52 of the no front number plate experiment. NEP kindly informed me it’s a £30 on the spot fine (comments lost with the server meltdown) so doing the maths if I am stopped tomorrow and fined the experiment has cost less than 57p per day. 
Checking my vote rigging post I see the Lib Dems are still in the lead over the SNP with 2 votes to 1. Get voting now!! I have it set to allow one vote per day I think so see how it goes. In my haste to get the poll working I neglected to actually put up both sets of candidates, so I’ll make it that whatever party wins the poll will receive both votes on the “second” paper(s)! Confused? I hope so! lol
btk
Published on Wednesday, 18th April, 2007 .
We got our ballot papers through the other day which I was chuffed about as usual. Catty on the other hand uttered these words…
I don’t know anything about the election, who are you voting for and I’ll vote for them too?
WTF?!?! This means I essentially have two votes this election so here’s what I was thinking. Since my girlfriend has already made a mockery of the whole democratic system I can’t ignore it. I reckon I’ll offer this vote(mine is already safely in my do know anything about the election hands) on eBay or whatever to the highest bidder. Or, I might just add a poll here if I can work out how to do that and tell her to put her X in the winner’s box come polling day.
Whatcha think.
btk
Published on Sunday, 8th April, 2007 .
What you need…
- Microwave - 1
- Cornflour - 4tbsp
- Strawberry Nesquik Powder - 4tbsp
- Sugar - 2tbsp
- Milk - 1½ pints
Throw all the dry ingredients together into a microwaveable bowl, quite a big one.
Take a little off the milk and mix it into the bowl to form a smoooooooothe paste, about 4tbsp of milk or thereabouts.
Bang the rest of the milk into the bowl, give it a quick stir, don’t worry about the gloopy pink goo thats around the bottom, it’ll melt off.
Fire the lot into the microwave for about 7 minutes or so, stirring after about 4.
Stir it up for a few seconds and let it stand for a minute.
Serve.
Superb!
btk 
Published on Friday, 6th April, 2007 .
Great, I’m on holiday as from today, not back until Tuesday week. Only cost 4 days too since there are 3 public holidays (today, monday and monday week) included in it.
I have my medical in Glasgow next Friday for the LGV license so will probably head down to Ayrshire for a few days to catch up with the family and do that. I also have a house to sell in Kilwinning since it’s holding us back from moving on up here. Trouble is my sister is living in it.
She has had a long time to get round to buying it from me though and I feel I have been more than fair in letting it drag on for so long. If she still wants it she can put in an offer. It’s not right that she gets to live in a big house with her one kid for nothing when my own three kids need to share a bedroom in this tiny rented cottage. Time to move on up here and, well, we all know what prices in these parts are like. So I need to sell the house in Kilwinkie and use the proceeds to pay off my mum(who has been paying the mortgage on the house down the road as far as I know. I don’t want her to be out of pocket after all because she gains nothing from these payments, just my sister gets to live in my house!) and have a deposit for a house up here. Least that’s the plan. 
My sister wont be thrown out on the streets either, she could walk straight into North Ayrshire council’s offices and be in accomodation that day. It’s not like she hasn’t lived in a council house before. I think it more likely that she will throw her toys out the pram and spit and hiss until someone closer to home takes her in. 
Ah bollocks to it, time to make some easter activities with the kids…
btk
Published on Thursday, 5th April, 2007 .
I’ve been pissing myself laughing this afternoon after a sparky who shall remain nameless told me this amusing anecdote…
I was on my way to poppin my cherry aboot 15 or that and was on a promise so knew it was happening. I decided tae go for some condoms.
Went intae Boots and said tae the wummin at the coonter, “a box of durex please”
She said, “Aye son, what size?”
Small!!
“Naw son,” she paused,
“Six or twelve in the box.”
Read it again and then imagine him saying it out loud!
Good on ye Brian, umm, I mean, the spark who shall remain nameless.
btk
Published on Tuesday, 3rd April, 2007 .
It’s day 32 of the no-front-number-plate test and it was mentioned today by a gaffer at work.
“Ye’ve nae front nummer plate Bill”
The cops don’t seem to care since I’ve passed loads of them with no interest. Hell even on the day of the bump at the haudagain roonaboot the cop said nothing! I wonder what the fine is anyway?
It’s all part of my current spiral of self destruction I think. Today the big boss man said, keep going to those counselling sessions. I missed my last one and haven’t called them back, eerily similar to the way I felt about the sick lines I didn’t go and get. The big boss man tried to pull me up for that too(well a related email sent to wages but meh..) but it came to light that the only reason there was any problem was because one of the gaffers had put in a time-sheet on my behalf against the rules. The big boss man actually said he would have told him to do that anyway and should it happen again he’d encourage that rule bending again! lol management eh. So much for being “team players”. The management team harbour the “them and us” mentality before any of us tool pushers do. I get the feeling that the big boss man would back up his management team under any circumstance over the rest of us numbers.
Still, we aren’t capable of managing ourselves as we aren’t clever enough, a fact patronisingly shown to me by the big boss man, during my telling off for the email previously mentioned in this post, when he told me that “CAPS IN EMAILS IS SHOUTING” - no shit sherlock, I was shouting! (well I was actually going for an emphasis but wrote the email in a web-interface which is not feature rich and I couldn’t be arsed manually entering control codes for bold!)
Stupid bloody office girls take everything personally of course instead of seperating them as a person from them as the face of my employer. Idiots.
Eugh, she’s shouting me to go watch a film so rant over!
btk
