Archive for the 'Work' Category

Do What??

Published
by
billythekid
on Tuesday, 20th November, 2007
in Aberdeen, Friends and Work
. Closed

I was at a jobs fair the other day in the AECC with a mate. After we’d been headhunted (ok that didn’t happen) we checked out some of the jobs on the board. I wrote down the ones that most intrigued me and thought I’d share…

Title:- Temp HR Generalist

What I think that means:- A Temp HR Generalist is a very wide encompassing position…for a while. Companies need people who they can make do whatever they say without fear of “that’s not in my job description”. Generalists, especially temp generalists, fit this position. A temp Generalist has no clout in a company at all. An HR generalist is there just to make up the numbers in the HR department, I mean you couldn’t put a Generalist in charge of hiring and firing could you ?

Title:- Draughts Person

What I think that means:- Well, we all know what a draughtsperson does, but how about a draughts person(two words). Logically speaking this must be someone who does things with draughts. Perhaps they can play lengthy draughts games, or perhaps they just eat lots of curry/chilli…

Title:- West African Accountant

What I think that means:- I’m fairly sure this job title is against employment laws. You can’t normally dictate what nationality a future employee will be…

Title:- Document Advisor

What I think this means:- I have never worked in an office before but I’m fairly sure this is a made up job for tax reasons. Documents don’t need advice, they need filed.

Title:- Wealth Advisors

What I think this means:- The boy who runs to the bookies for the boss. Duties include advising the boss of any wins/losses and corresponding amounts. This title could also be a bank manager (which is basically the same job.)

In other news, as soon as we went in the door I was approached by none other than a representative of the council shoving a free pen in my hand and telling me to get on their website for a look at available jobs. Who knows, I might do that! HA!

:roll:

Freeconomy

Published
by
billythekid
on Tuesday, 13th November, 2007
in Having Fun and Work
. 0 Comments

As part of my current, do jobs for non-cash rewards thing, I’ve come across this site and signed up. If you are a good person* you will too! If you do join, and need me to do something or borrow something you should remember the way to a man’s heart…

:wink:

btk

*if you don’t join this of course, you are indeed a bad person

Don’t mention it…

Published
by
billythekid
on Friday, 4th May, 2007
in Aberdeen, Friends and Work
. 0 Comments

Right then now that all the election hoo haa is over we can resume normal service. Here’s one thing that was missed, Catty’s works night oot. Great again this year even if I did get a kilt for the occasion. ( I posted a different pic of me in the kilt over on TT and was told by one friend, “Last time I saw legs like that they were hanging out a nest!” - Cheeky bugger.

Suits you sir…

Entertainment was in the form of Fred McCauley(7:30PM - “I will get my photo with him before the night is oot….” 11PM - “where the fook is he??”) and the Red Hot Chilli Pipers who I seem to remember being on some talent show with the human slinky, an act that blew my mind! He unfortunately wasn’t there.

Anyhow, by the end of the night I had embarrassed Catty enough I think, I vaguely remember some of it(free bar for a while) like the bit where I forgot line dancing isn’t actually cool to the rest of the world and spun round forgetting I was wearing a kilt. The folks at the table got an eyeful I’m sure… :oops: :oops:

Next year I’ll be off the sauce and more restrained…

It was a good night but, don’t mention it…

btk

PS Fred, If you want to send me a signed photo since I missed you it’d be much appreciated!

PPS, quote of the night goes to Fred McCauley…

Ally(McCoist) just went through a very messy and public divorce and nobody deserves that…

…even if they are shaggin Patsy Kensit!

:lol: :mrgreen:

What size??

Published
by
billythekid
on Thursday, 5th April, 2007
in Friends and Work
. 1 Comment

I’ve been pissing myself laughing this afternoon after a sparky who shall remain nameless told me this amusing anecdote…

I was on my way to poppin my cherry aboot 15 or that and was on a promise so knew it was happening. I decided tae go for some condoms.
Went intae Boots and said tae the wummin at the coonter, “a box of durex please”
She said, “Aye son, what size?”
Small!!

“Naw son,” she paused,

“Six or twelve in the box.”

:lol: :roll: :grin: :smile: :mrgreen:

Read it again and then imagine him saying it out loud!

Good on ye Brian, umm, I mean, the spark who shall remain nameless.

btk

Day 32

Published
by
billythekid
on Tuesday, 3rd April, 2007
in Aberdeen, Motoring and Work
. 0 Comments

It’s day 32 of the no-front-number-plate test and it was mentioned today by a gaffer at work.

“Ye’ve nae front nummer plate Bill”

The cops don’t seem to care since I’ve passed loads of them with no interest. Hell even on the day of the bump at the haudagain roonaboot the cop said nothing! I wonder what the fine is anyway?

It’s all part of my current spiral of self destruction I think. Today the big boss man said, keep going to those counselling sessions. I missed my last one and haven’t called them back, eerily similar to the way I felt about the sick lines I didn’t go and get. The big boss man tried to pull me up for that too(well a related email sent to wages but meh..) but it came to light that the only reason there was any problem was because one of the gaffers had put in a time-sheet on my behalf against the rules. The big boss man actually said he would have told him to do that anyway and should it happen again he’d encourage that rule bending again! lol management eh. So much for being “team players”. The management team harbour the “them and us” mentality before any of us tool pushers do. I get the feeling that the big boss man would back up his management team under any circumstance over the rest of us numbers.

Still, we aren’t capable of managing ourselves as we aren’t clever enough, a fact patronisingly shown to me by the big boss man, during my telling off for the email previously mentioned in this post, when he told me that “CAPS IN EMAILS IS SHOUTING” - no shit sherlock, I was shouting! (well I was actually going for an emphasis but wrote the email in a web-interface which is not feature rich and I couldn’t be arsed manually entering control codes for bold!)

Stupid bloody office girls take everything personally of course instead of seperating them as a person from them as the face of my employer. Idiots.

Eugh, she’s shouting me to go watch a film so rant over! :mrgreen: :lol: :roll: :mrgreen:

btk

Studying in the University of Life.

Published
by
billythekid
on Thursday, 15th March, 2007
in Aberdeen, Motoring and Work
. 0 Comments

I hate students, well not all students per sé, but the ones who don’t conform to student stereotypes. Specifically, the ones with cars. Narrowing this down, the ones with cars who decide to take the car to uni and park in the town somewhere. In the town somewhere being School Road. Yes, those students are the ones I hate.

I am a plumber, which brings two key issues relevant to this.

1) I work on the move, not in one, oh I don’t know, university for example.
2) I do physical work, carrying things that are heavy like baths, not just, oh I don’t know, record bags and one folder.

These things mean I prefer to be close to the area I’m working in, in this purely hypothetical situation, School Road. I don’t mind having to cross the road or even park outside the next house down. I don’t however enjoy leaving the postcode and hauling my tools and stuff to the place of work because of bloody students. In my day students were worried about saving the planet and/or screwing something. Shit, why are you people even going to uni before 9am??? Weirdos. Lose the car, buy booze, get laid and leave my parking alone.

In related news, I had occasion to go through the old aberdeen bit of the uni today. I got half stuck behind a bus. I could feel everyone looking at me. Stop watching me!!! Those must have been the planet savers trying to destroy me with their looks. Ok so birds drop out of trees dead as I pass, but it’s my prerogative to drive whatever I want OK!

Bloody students.

Breaker breaker

Published
by
billythekid
on Friday, 2nd March, 2007
in Motoring and Work
. 1 Comment

Well, I’ve finally signed up for an HGV course. I’ve wanted to drive trucks for years and at last, partly thanks to the needlestick, I’m doing it!

Waiting on my theory test info and stuff, but watch this space…

Innes has already claimed a seat for a road trip.

I’m just happy at the prospect of wearing a stetson all day! lol

btk

Junkies - again

Published
by
billythekid
on Tuesday, 23rd January, 2007
in Aberdeen, Health and Work
. 1 Comment

I hate junkies, more now than ever. It’s not good enough that they put their own lives and the lives of their families and children at risk, but they have recently(today) branched out into threatening council plumbers.

Yes, I got stuck today by a needle, a bent one, I have been informed this is how the junkies determine if it’s one that’s been used or not, meaning it had.

By the time you figure in the blood test, tetanus and hepatitisB(ouch) needles, results in four needless needle pricks. Not to mention that this just cost my employer(the cooncil) money in lost time, as well as the NHS in drugs and time. Note that both are funded with public money, which means that WE paid for my afternoon. I don’t appreciate being forced into spending needless amounts of cash(I guess it’s the Scotsman in me) I’m sure those reading this don’t either.

Now I have a wait on my hands to get the test results back and be given the all clear. OK, the chances are slim that I have caught anything major but I’m still a little worried about it. I’m not the kind of person who gets stressed out easily, but this is trying on me a little.

Apparently my arm is going to stiffen up this evening with the HepB jab being STRAIGHT INTO THE MUSCLE!! So I’m typing this before I lose the ability.

I don’t generally publish the addresses of the houses in which I work in my plumbing blog, but this isn’t that blog so…..

To the previous tenant of 24 Ritchie Place, Tillidrone, Aberdeen,

You are a useless junkie bastard, giving myself and my family undue stress by your blatant disregard for the proper disposal of your paraphernalia. I am not against the use of drugs by addicts. I am against reckless endangerment of others who are not engaging in that activity.I couldn’t give a toss if you OD(or indeed have already OD’d) satisfying your need for a fix. I do care when my girlfriend and my children are forced, by your inappropriate actions, into a worrying situation which needn’t have been.

You can rot.

btk

I haven’t told the kids and I am not going to, they wouldn’t understand anyhow. What gets people into drug misuse? I can’t understand it really, I mean I was always told to say no to drugs. I can’t imagine anyone telling someone to say yes, so how does it start? Is the carelessness ingrained at the same time? Cunts.billy