Continue reading »]]> I’ve managed to keep UTG off this blog so far so I reckon it’s about time I put my tuppence in. [edit: after reading the post I realise this is more than tuppence worth, go grab a coffee and come back...] First a quick timeline from my memory banks, this may not be entirely chronologically accurate…

When the original CSP ‘vision’ was first tabled I thought it looked pants. It was ugly. I’d never been in Union Terrace Gardens at that point so didn’t really worry either way about it. The thought of a £50m cash injection to a city, which at the time was on it’s knees financially, sounded good though. Then I found out about the PVA scandal. This raised questions in my mind about the legitimacy of the CSP project. It felt like buying or bullying by a big dog on an underdog. It felt wrong.

There was an unofficial ‘vote’ organised by ACSEF – non binding but a good indicator of what people who were interested wanted. This was an opportunity to voice concerns about the ‘vision’ as it stood and ACSEF seemed to listen to some of the points. The CSP was re-branded CGP to encompass the strong feeling displayed about the loss of green space etc. They didn’t listen to the main point that 55% just didn’t want it at all. This to me felt like another failure of democracy. It felt wrong.

Regardless, ACSEF pushed ahead, citing a “silent majority” as the reason for the loss in the vote and put out an “International design competition” to come up with a redesign of the unpopular CSP for the CGP. This had to be “international” because the entire project attracted scathing critiscism by the Royal Incorporation of Architects in Scotland, who branded it silly and actually backed the PVA plans, calling them ‘visionary’. Nevertheless, the design competition went ahead, which felt wrong.

A shortlist was compiled and taken to another public vote. The public were asked to vote by ordering the six chosen designs in order of preference. This was exhibited for a couple of weeks. The votes were counted and the winner was chosen winner and another design favoured by ACSEF went through to a judging panel (made up of ACSEF members/business people). This felt wrong.

The second design, affectionately dubbed the concrete mankini, more officially known as the Granite Web was chosen. Well of course it was, that’s why it was taken to the panel. All this time ACC had been receiving criticism over it’s handling of the whole thing and looked unsteady with it’s decision. It decided to hold a city-wide referendum on this. This will save the blushes of the councillors who backed it, the Liberal Democrats(I use the term to refer to the party to which they belong, NOT liberal democracy as a concept, they are re-branded tories in Aberdeen) in particular seem keen to get an “out” from this. All parties say they shall respect the outcome of the (non-binding) referendum however. This doesn’t mean that if the referendum comes back saying YES to the CGP that it’ll actually go ahead though! (I know, I’m not making this up, seriously) it’ll just be subject to reviews on planning, finance etc. Not only that but if the vote comes back as YES to retaining UTG the campaign say, inaccurately, that that’ll be the end of any investment in UTG excepting normal maintenance costs. There’s no plan B. This feel like bullying. It feels wrong.

So that’s where we are at the moment. The referendum is taking place but it’s gone even more downhill in the last few days. For a start the referendum literature was put out with erroneous information, see this ACC retraction. Oh, previous to the packs even going out a building company stuck on a self-congratulatory message about winning the contract to build it! That really felt wrong. (They did retract it later, as I pointed out in the tweet, blaming an oversight and ambiguity in the article language.) Now as much as the referendum seems democratic, and it is, it is flawed. People will vote who have no interest in the project. This is ACSEF’s so called silent majority. The problem is that the very point of their silence shows they are happy with either outcome. Being forced into voting one way or the other removes this. If anything there should have been an option of “don’t really care”. People feel obliged to vote though, so will. There is no such thing as a silent majority around an issue. It is only those with an interest who should be counted. This feels like ACSEF pushing people into it, but how do you argue against a system in which you believe? This feels like bullying, which of course, as I’m sure you’re getting by this post, feels wrong.

ACSEF and the CGP campaign are campaigning hard. The adverts are at best being conservative with the truth, at worst telling outright lies. Their sponsorship is not being (dis)played(depending on the medium). For example, every ad I’ve heard so far says this won’t cost us a penny. It doesn’t say what the source of the funding is then. The government may release what’s called TIF funding for it, should they ever receive a business case for it. ACC have not supplied such a case. So it’d be paid for, in part, initially by a government grant. Well, perhaps I missed something here but the government doesn’t actually have any money, it’s our money held by them to distribute to causes. It COSTS US MONEY!!! This feels wrong. Ah, but this will be repaid by the TIF scheme, which essentially means (though nobody’s bothered about the details of exactly how the bureaucracy will implement it) that businesses deemed(by whom?) to have benefited directly from the CGP will pay a different rate of tax (TIF stands for tax incremental funding, by the way) than other businesses in the area. Well, doesn’t this harm the, as yet nonexistant, business case for this. Businesses, as was pointed out at a BBC arranged meeting earlier this month – read about it at this awesome blog post by lenathehyena, go where the financial gain is, not where looks pretty (or in this case pretty ugly). A tax penalty will not attract new business to the area, which means less new business to pay the TIF payback etc. The council will still need to find the money and it’s my feeling that they’ll decide that *all* businesses will have benefited from the build so tax existing businesses across Aberdeen to meet it. After all, current estimates are that this’ll cost £140-odd million, I believe £92million of which would be TIF. That’s a LOT of tax to grab by anyone’s standards. The whole thing feels ill-thought out and makes me feel uneasy. It feels wrong.

Incidentally if and when the CGP goes ahead and the TIF is in effect I shall be publishing a list of companies affected by the TIF, in my opinion supporters of the CGP, on a site. ACC has already said they’d make that information available on their website to save me a monthly FOI request. This is to allow you to decide in a more transparent way if you wish to do business with these companies or not.

Then there’s the complaints of bullying, oh, not by UTG supporters, but by CGP leaders! Yes, leaders, the kind of people who get where they are by being bullied… It feels like a smear campaign, it feels wrong. I have not witnessed any bullying, although I hear (from pro CGPers mostly) that “both” sides have been active in bullying. I’ve seen a LOT of hot debate but never anything remotely bullying. There are lots of strong views on the subject, lots of heated arguments over it but it’s always been on-topic. I’m not saying it didn’t happen and I absolutely do not condone the abhorrent behaviour that *is* bullying when it happens, I’m just saying I’ve not seen it.

On a personal note, I already voted. I voted to retain UTG for the following reasons.

• I have children. They should be allowed to enjoy UTG as a historically relevant, open and safe space. (yes it *is* safe, check out the figures.) Citing the place as unsafe with those figures feels wrong.
• The argument against those figures is that there’s no crime because nobody uses UTG because it’s full of criminals. Umm, I don’t know where to start on that one! This brings me on to my problem with the argument that nobody uses it. And? If it were a business and nobody was going through the gates that’d be an issue. When it’s a park, not so much. I’ve used it. I enjoy a short stroll around it. In better weather I enjoy hanging out there. It’s quietness is to it’s credit, especially in such a central location. It’s not a business, it’s a park, loads of people there every day would ruin the peace. During events I’ve seen it very busy by the way. The whole argument about user numbers is self-defeating and feels wrong.
• I don’t appreciate bullying by those in seemingly powerful positions. It feels wrong.
• I don’t appreciate those with the financial means, using money as leverage. It feels like selling out, which feels wrong.
• I don’t appreciate the loss of the park as a park. Why must it make money? It’s a park. The CGP campaign has a financial benefit as fundamental to the whole project. It feels greedy, it feels wrong.
• I value democracy. I value this above almost all other things. The only word I can think of to describe democracy in Aberdeen, especially around this, is invisible. It feels so wrong that there was simply no other way I could vote!
• There is no benefit to the city with the destruction of UTG. If this was going on the old St Nic’s House site the whole city would be behind it. It’d be replacing one eyesore with a lesser eyesore. What’s being tabled though is the destruction of one area of beauty with an eyesore(IMHO – I know some people like the mankini design). This feels wrong.

The CGP PR bulldozer is in full-effect, the UTG campaign has no funding to match it. We have to do what little we can and hope those undecided vote the right way, by voting to retain. I urge those not yet decided to vote for retaining UTG. If you are on twitter add your face here too and then tweet about your support, if you’re not on twitter go to the page and click the facebook like button to share it. If you despise social networks then please, most importantly vote to retain UTG. The alternative is just not worth it socially, financially, ethically, environmentally, aspirationally or by way of quality.

In closing, this feels wrong because it *is* wrong.

Continue reading »]]> This would have been a twitter post but I realised there’s no way I could make it in 140 chars!

In the morning and in the car I generally listen to Original 106 on t’wireless. Recently they’ve been making a big deal of all their programming being made in the north east, using a voiceover where I always imagine the guy knocking on someone’s head as he says the words “in the north east”.

The main other local station, NorthSound, is one of the large syndication that covers Scotland, including Tay FM, Clyde1, West FM (noticing any similarities with those links yet?) etc. At night to save money they syndicate the same programs to all their stations. Original doesn’t belong to the syndication and runs it’s own programming strategy, late-night this essentially involves a program with no presenter. I actually like this show as it occasionally produces some gems from music (from my) past.

My problem, no that’s too strong a word, my question, is this. What’s so good about all the programs being made in the north east? Northsound’s only decent programs, in my opinion, are the syndicated ones. Gina and Romeo late at night are about all I listen to on the odd occasions I even bother to try NS1 again. It’s also hysterical hearing some of the neds who call in with their tales of woe, of course this is a personal taste thing. I think neds are funny, though cringeworthy. In any case those are NS’s best programs.

So it’s not about quality of programs.

How about carbon footprint then? Perhaps the carbon footprint of a locally produced show is less than one being broadcast and relayed from the central belt. I doubt this is true in any measurable or significant level, and in any case any increases in transmitter output is probably negated and then some by the fact that for every station that runs the syndication there’s a presenter who doesn’t need to get to work, meaning no emissions on travel.

So it’s not about environmental impact.

So how about money? Well no, here again the station loses out. Employing late-night DJs, though outstanding at their job, doesn’t save money. The guys on at night are brilliant, Claire regularly has me in stitches. They come at a cost though, financially speaking employees and specifically wages, are the biggest cost to most companies. This is why thru the night is just a ‘big CD’ with ads and pre-recorded news bulletins. Making it all in the north east costs more.

I understand the undertone of the point though. Northsound and the other networked stations don’t make it clear to the listener that it’s a syndicated program. The links have the presenter saying the name of the station on which the show is being broadcast, not a central name such as “You’re listening to late night Gina on the Scottish syndicated radio network” (or even just on Clyde1 – which I believe is the source, they use the Clyde1 phone number anyway). This is something that I feel, in the interest of transparency they should make clearer. There could well be listeners who don’t realise they’re listening to a syndication who can then decide if they wish to remain listeners or not. I don’t really understand the apparent “cover up”, what difference does it make?

I just don’t think saying “all made in the north east” is showing any particular benefit…

…I wasn’t made in the north east and I’m gallus.

Continue reading »]]> There I said it!

A lot of people don’t realise this. They assume for one reason or another that I *am* gay. It doesn’t matter to me what they think and I seldom correct them upon this assumption if they don’t come out (pardon the pun) and ask me. Recently I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend though. People are accusing me of being gay and then get annoyed when I don’t take it as an insult. I mean to say the accusers *mean* it as an insult. It’s no more insulting to me than being accused of waking in the morning or breathing.

Another disturbing trend I’ve noticed is people feeling it’s OK to pass comments about my son’s behaviour such as, “you’d better watch him, dressing like that” or even “what if he turned out gay?”

Well, what if? It’s none of my business and it’s certainly none of the accusers as I’m sure whatever his sexuality he’d have the good taste not to choose the questioner as a potential partner. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with being straight. There’s nothing wrong with sexuality in general. I’m certain that being gay is no more a life choice than being straight. I didn’t choose to be straight it just happened that way. I suppose that extends to all sexualities. You might be into s&m but don’t know it until you’ve tried it or been introduced to it somehow. That’s not to say you make the choice that it turns you on. The only choice you make is whether to participate in it. Well that’s true of us all isn’t it.

Here’s what I hope for my children. Safe happy lives. If their sexuality later in life leads them to that then they have my blessing. I love them for who they are, sexuality aside. It goes for most people, if you’re not hurting anyone and all involved are adults of sound mind then what’s the problem eh?

So think of me however you like but if we’re not having sex together, you have no business in my sexuality. Maybe I protest too much…

Continue reading »]]> Happy new year (are we still saying that?) I hope it’s great for you.

Every day I have ideas about things. This is part of being a human being I suppose. I often think I should write them down and used to just blog them. I was going to write down a list of these here but decided to redact a *lot* of words (about 1500). As it stands I’ve decided to limit this post to just the following two things in my head at the moment…

New years resolutions:- I kept mine last year for the whole of 2011, it was simply to “get up earlier”. However awful it feels of a morning, however late the night before I got up and got on with it. Within ten minutes of rising you feel better anyway, just about the same time the first gulp of caffeinated beverage of your choice hits the back of your throat. I managed to keep it because it was simple and didn’t aim too high too fast. This year I’m going to try something else, instead of a resolution per sé. This year I’m going to make a bucket list of things I want to achieve before the year is out. I’ll probably make that the next post, or perhaps give it a page of it’s own.

Projects:- I always have “projects” in mind. Yesterday I thought I’d try to recruit a bunch of tweeters/bloggers/writers to make a “Morning Express” site. Essentially it’d be any story from the EE or P&J but without the bias. I dismissed it as too high maintenance as I have enough on my plate at the time. It would be easy to set up with even a simple WP install, styled to resemble but not copy, the EE or P&J depending on the article. Each article would also link back to the biased original in a similar style as uncyclopedia Another thing I need to get back up and running is the realaberdeen site. When it was good it was ace, the move to twitter killed it off really so I’d like to bring it back in it’s “original” blog style. The aberdeen cars site is good but it’s focused too much on sarcasm and car dependency, something realaberdeen is not against at all but just wishes people would use the cars on which they are dependant properly. Parking, leaving room for cyclists, realising the speed limit is just that, a limit not a target etc. realaberdeen loves cars and good drivers. Aberdeen cars is more interested in cyclists and mockery of car users, which is often richly deserved, on this the two sites agree!

Continue reading »]]> W00t w00t! Another halloween another prize.

Granted not the costume I thought had a chance, which went to a shop bought one! I mean, come on!

Anyhow, here’s Ashley in her win-free costume…

She’s a pizza planet alien from Toy Story, if you’re wondering…

…and here are the two older ones, Danielle’s Super Mario and Jordan’s Papa Smurf…

The alien is a cardboard head covered in green fabric, the same fabric is used for the 3-fingered gloves(yeah, you can’t just buy those!) The body is a bit of blue fabric turned into a kind of dress, blue felt details and the Pizza Planet badge is on paper, glued to the dress with pritt stick. Painted eyeballs and black lines/pupils/mouth by Sharpie.

Super Mario is pretty much just blue felt turned into a new type of dungarees and yellow paper for the buttons and a red jumper. Her hat’s painted red with the M badge glued on and teh moustache is drawn on cardboard, painted and held on by string.

The smurf is red felt troosers sewn onto a blue “tube” for the body, red flaps for the feet and all held together at the top via the magic of the safety-pin. The hat’s the same red felt slightly stuffed with cotton wool balls, as left over from the beard where they’re glued onto a bit of cardboard.

The winner is… Papa Smurf! Nice one Jordy, that’s 4 for 4 for him. The parents in his class must be just too lazy if that won! ;oP

[edit]
There have been a couple of comments about it supposed to be Mario and Luigi… it was, just not in time for these pics, Luigi (my eldest, Billie-Jo) wasn’t needed for a couple of nights so hadn’t been made at time of original posting. Here they are together…

[/edit]

Continue reading »]]> My youngest, finally has flown the nest of a day, heading off to P1. This leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. I’ve been out of the working world for about 4 years now, during which time I’ve given up plumbing entirely and started doing a degree at the OU.

I’ve not been totally removed from society and I’m well aware that the employment market is very different now to how it was just a few years ago. It’s tough to get a job by all accounts these days, especially when you’re new to an industry having just re-trained or, as in my case, not even qualified yet. The software development industry has loads of newly qualified people as well as the recently redundant (and experienced) developers all vying for the same jobs.

So how can someone like me, with no commercial experience, no qualifications and no track record even make a dent in the jobs market when faced with such competition?

Well this is how I’m doing it…

I have a good quality friends list on Twitter. I follow a lot of people in the industry I’m into. This wasn’t a conscious decision on my part but came about organically. I’m passionate about it, this makes me want to talk about it and this attracts others interested in the same thing. Twitter also lends itself to this industry by having the API for fellow coders and just being online. Devs are online!

So my daily chit-chat is about the industry. Code snippets, problem resolution, opinion on best practices and industry developments bolstered by general piss-taking and friendly banter. More importantly it’s to other people in the industry already. This means my name is out there, my work is being discussed and I’m able to give input into other folks projects. All good networking (gawd, did I just use office jargon?!)

This leads me on to my next point. When Ash started school I immediately had a huge reserve of contacts to approach for work. I knew them, albeit electronically, and was comfortable in talking to them. I’m not stupid though, nobody’s going to employ me because of the aforementioned points. So I need to address those. I put out a tweet…

I’ve stuck things like this out as feelers in the past, looking for any overspill work from those snowed under or whatever. This time I got a bite. A lead developer at a design company in Aberdeen sent me a DM asking me to give him an email with what I’m “about”. I did that and we arranged an informal meeting to talk over what they could do for me (and I for them). They seemed happy that I was saying the right things so offered me a non-paid placement there on a “we’ll see how you go” arrangement.

This was by far the best decision I could have made. I’m now doing bug-finding and fixing work for them, gaining valuable, recordable experience along the way. They’re displaying a belief in my abilities and pretty much letting me run with things. I get on well with the workmates, some of whom I already ‘knew’ through Twitter etc. and, I feel, I’m fitting in nicely. Perhaps most importantly on a personal level is that this work experience has validated my own belief that I belong in this industry as I’m encountering bits and pieces that are just poorly done that I can do better. People, less skilled than I, are making a living in this industry.

Another funny thing is that I’m starting to get side-projects by ‘word of mouth’ already. This must happen in every industry, you always got more homers in plumbing when you were working for a plumbing company(you’d be doing some job for the company and a client would say, “h’much for fitting a washing machine for my sister?” etc.). I got an enquiry the other day about a little project and, as the seed was planted, I just did it. I was interested so I did it. People are seeing me as “the coding guy” which can only be a good thing right?

So that’s the experience bit done, now I just need to see out the degree, though with rising Uni fees this might be the difficult bit. Who knows what the future holds. Not me, but I’m going to do my best to ensure it has as many good things in it as possible. This ‘break’ was the first step…

…it’s now up to me to shine.

Continue reading »]]> Aberdeen’s most biased newspaper has a digital edition to which you can subscribe for 84 of your hard earned pounds sterling a year.

This got me thinking, there’s no way I’m going to spend £84 on that thing. I never follow links to the EE articles and actively boycott it wherever possible, including free copies in the Chinese take-away!

So how could we better spend £84 a year?

• 8 months of spotify premium membership – £79.92
• 121 iPhone/iPod Touch apps @ 69p each – £83.49
• A stylophone, a giant space-hopper, a Barack Obama action figure, a Star-Trek pizza cutter, a Smurfette and a Maggie nut-cracker from Firebox – £83.40
• 54 minutes of filth talk from a £1.53 per minute chat line – £82.62
• 289 corn on the cobs from Lidl – £83.81
• 28 hand held urinals from Asda – £83.72
• alternatively, 75 incontinence pads – £74.95
• 3 years of subscriptions to Private Eye – £84.00
• Unlock 16 phones and set free 16 battery chickens – £80.00
• 2 years of Top Gear magazines via annual subscription – £71.00
• 5 days of parking in Union Square carpark – £75.00
• Take 3 friends from Aberdeen to London on Tue 29th December on the 19:15 Megabus (arrives 07:05 on 30th) – £72.00

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, there are literally (heh, not often we get to use that word properly) thousands of better ways to spend up to £84 than subscribing to the EE digital edition. Let’s hear your ideas in the comments…

Continue reading »]]> Kids go back to school tomorrow in the grey toon. This means today is filled with “last minute” shopping and haircuts for most parents. I accepted my challenge in the form of a list of items needing attention;

1. Haircut for the boy
2. Argos to get reservation
3. DVLA to assign plate on new motor
4. New bra for kidthekid1
5. Kidthekid4 to play date
6. New aerial for bedroom TV
7. Collect kidthekid4′s uniform from school
8. …
9. etc.

I know, item 4 right…

So most of this list got tackled satisfactorily, no prizes for guessing which one was the stumbling block. Yeah, it’s not that easy to find bras for little girls, contrary to what the media would have you believe with their Primark pre-teen padded efforts and kid-pole-dancing kits. It’s actually a difficult task. Perhaps moreso as I’m not in the bra-buying business, neither am I what you would call of mature character. Oh, I had kidthekid3, who’s a 9 year old boy, with me. This was also detrimental to the whole episode.

So, kidthekid1 decided she wanted a sports bra. This is not an easy find either in a small size. I think they’re made to stop active, more generously bosomed women from giving themselves black-eyes while out jogging (or taking jazzercise classes) not for girls who, well, don’t really need a bra, in the humble opinion of their fathers.

Just so you know, places that don’t sell kids’ sports bras in Aberdeen(female readers may name this list, “places I’d never look in the first place for sports bras in Aberdeen”) include, M&S, John Lewis, SportsDirect.com(Union St or Kittybrewster), JJB(Union St or Berryden), TopShop, Next(Berryden or Bon Accord) and god knows how many more.

I’ve spent my fair share of time in the lingerie aisles in my time, mostly killing time until a promised McDonalds accompanied by a purchasing female of said garments. Today however I had to peruse the aisles with intent. I had to check sizes and styles. I had to suggest alternates, which invited scornful glowering by onlookers and daughter alike. I’m admitting I was out of my depth. SportsDirect came close I thought but when I suggested she go try on the ones she actually quite liked I got, “No, I’m not trying on a bra Dad.” “So how will you know if it fits before we buy it?” “It won’t fit, it’s too big I can tell just by looking at it.”

*facepalm*

We never did get one. Perhaps Mum can go out next time on this task.

Continue reading »]]> Amy Winehouse died recently, you might have heard about it. Don’t worry I’m not going to go on about her here, there are many bloggers better equipped than I to jump on that particular bandwagon. I do however want to post a personal thought about addiction…

Reading this piece by Russel Brand where he talks about addiction I was struck by the paragraph…

All addicts, regardless of the substance or their social status share a consistent and obvious symptom; they’re not quite present when you talk to them. They communicate to you through a barely discernible but unignorable veil. Whether a homeless smack head troubling you for 50p for a cup of tea or a coked-up, pinstriped exec foaming off about his speedboat, there is a toxic aura that prevents connection. They have about them the air of elsewhere, that they’re looking through you to somewhere else they’d rather be. And of course they are. The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief.

Being an addict myself, though not to any chemical, other than those cooked up by my brainbox as I get my fix, instead to my computer, or indeed whatever “the project“(Go and read this link now! Seriously, I’ll wait for you to come back…) is at the time, I wanted to say the following…

We know we do this. It’s embarrassing for us too.

I am constantly being harassed by those who care about me. My family, my friends, visitors. Now let me get this out of the way right now. I love these people dearly. I don’t want to give this ‘air of elsewhere’ and I really try to get with it. I really try to give you my attention. I really try to understand that story you just told me. I really try not to think about that line of code that needs doing or that API that needs to be implemented.

This manifests itself at it’s worst when the object of addiction is within reach. I really try to get that drink for my 4 year old *before* she becomes so frustrated with me saying “just a second” that she just gets her big sister to help her. I can’t stress enough how ashamed that particular case study makes me feel.

My previous project, as long time followers of this blog will know already, was dancing. I was a line-dance instructor, out most nights. This eventually led to a breakdown in my home life. I can see this project going the same way. The one advantage of the dancing was that it was a social thing. I could talk about the project with my class attendees as it was relevant(which makes it more powerful and, in my mind, vindicates my obsession). The current project does not have this aspect. This compounds the air of elsewhere because, I think, I’m actually losing social skills by not practising them with real people.

I’m not looking for help, I’m not looking for sympathy, indeed this post was not supposed to hold a negative tone(perhaps I shouldn’t have opened with the death line…) All I wanted to do here is say that obsessives/addicts know we’re not really there. Druggies and alcoholics are probably further away than me, I’m sober but I’m still not there. I don’t mean it and I’m sorry.

Continue reading »]]> I was flicking through the birthdays of my friends on Facebook last night with my girlfriend Catty and she was asking me who some of my friends were and how I knew them. She asked who one girl was to which I replied, “That’s [someone], off of Twitter”. Then she hit me with the following question:

Why do you have 17 year old girls from the internet who you don’t even know on your friends list?

Just the phrasing of the question shows where this is going right?

Now let me be frank here, I talk to everyone on Twitter. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re 16 or 60 if I think you are interesting or, and I admit this is unlikely, you find what I’m ranting on about interesting then we’ll converse. I’ve never taken age into account, most times I don’t even know the age of the person to whom I am speaking. It never occurred to me that this was not the norm!

Catty made the, valid and relevant, point that we try to teach our own children about internet safety. Don’t speak to people you don’t know being, if not number one certainly in the top ten rules. Yet here I was breaking that very rule by effectively encouraging young people to engage in conversation with strange old men (that’s me by the way!)

You dirty old man

I like to think of myself as internet savvy. The internet is an inherent part of my life, the two intertwined so tightly these days that it’s difficult to tell where billythekid ends and Billy, the person, begins. Heck some days Billy the person doesn’t appear at all! As an adult internet user, I must take my share the burden of responsibility to make the internet as safe a place for all users, young and old alike. Now while I may not pose a threat to a young person (my timeline is open, anyone see the crap I spout, I’m hardly grooming!) the very action of following someone who’s not an adult effectively vindicates that behaviour. It could make the young person think it’s OK to interact with those outside their normal peer group.

It is with this in mind that I shall be unfollowing any people, especially from Facebook, identified to be teenagers who I don’t know in real life. It’s not a personal thing if I unfollow you so please don’t take it as a reflection on your conversation. I know you’re all cool people, just come back when you’re 18! An over-reaction maybe, internethical, I guess so.

I think we all have a responsibility to make the ‘net a safe place…
…sometimes you just need to adjust your thinking (or have it adjusted for you) to see the wood for the trees.

[edit] A pal of mine MSNd me saying “ha, busted!” in response to this post. I should make it clear that there was no suggestion of any questionable content/conversation here. It’s nothing to do with what’s being said, it’s more an attitude thing I think. How would I feel were my daughter to tell me she interacted with 30year old men on the internet… In all honesty I’d not be pleased. However innocent the interaction. Another pal said to me you need to think about how it would sound read out in court! Good point!

Continue reading »]]> Sometimes my youngest daughter Ashley has me doubled with laughter. She’s naturally funny with her childhood naivety wrestling with her desire to be “a big girl”. I think the fact that I just go along as if everything she says is right enough means she has the confidence to just say what’s in her head.

She’s not alone though, all kids at this age come out with some funny things…

Ashley taught herself or picked up somehow how to read. She does this phonically so occasionally she makes mistakes. She’s only 4 after all…
Ashley: Mum, that shop over there is awfully kinky…
Mum (thinking the worst): Errr… What shop?
Ashley:That one *points*
Mum: AH! That’s an “Off Licence”

Ashley: I’ve hurt my leg wrist… (her ankle)

My pal’s daughter (now 21) describing a fall: “I just dropped myself”

When Ash was younger we went grocery shopping to ASDA, hearing we needed potatoes she came out with, “Bitatoes! That is a funny word, bitatoes. I wonder where they come from, what shop?”

My son, being very shy one day was ignoring a visiting relative’s questions…
Relative: “What’s your name then?”
*long pause*
Relative: “Are you Jordan?”
Jordan (whispering, exasperated that we didn’t get it): “Ah, cannae talk”

Mum, gesturing at some evidence: “Well Ashley are you going to tell me who did this?”
Ashley: “What will happen to me if I tell you the truth?”

My pal Debbie’s son: “Mum, I love Kyle.”
Debbie: “Mmhmm…”
Son: “I even kissed him Mum”
Debbie: “Okaaaay, why did you do that then?”
Son: “Well, he just smelled so good!”

I particularly like kids describing sensations, such as…
Kidthekid2: “My feet are all fizzy” (pins and needles)
Ash: “It just makes my bum go… ‘surpriiiise’” (the ‘butterflies’ sensation on a swing!)

I bet you have a ton of these yourself, let me know in the comments!

Continue reading »]]> I have four children, three girls and a boy. For over three weeks now I’ve been looking after my kids on my own. My better half is offshore with work on the Cormorant Alpha oil rig.

Now, I’m the stay-home parent anyway but a few quirks of single-parenting have been noted.

1. There is no such thing as ‘popping down to the shop for milk’ when you’ve just poured a cuppa and realise there’s no milk. Any journey is accompanied by a rigmarole of collecting/dressing/heeling/washing children. Usually I’d just yell “I’m away to the shop, need anything?” and leave them with mum. No other adult in the house? We all go for milk.
2. Kids get cheekier. Now this happens as part of regular family life. The trouble when you’re doing it solo is that things get overlooked. I can hear when a child is being cheeky or back-chatting their mother. She can hear it when it happens with me. This generally takes the form of, “Don’t speak to your dad like that! Apologise!” Not so good at noticing when it’s in the 1st person. My eldest is especially good at working this to her advantage. I’ll issue an instruction which’ll almost immediately be met with a rebuttal – in the form of a question, which I’ll answer!!! Touché child1, touché!
3. Time passes faster. I’ve been going to bed at times such as 4AM! Now this is not that unusual for me, I’ve always been a night owl, especially when Catty’s away. However it usually lasts no longer than a few days. For three weeks I’ve been doing this. Not because I’m catching up on everything that needs done, because I’m just losing track of time! This also means everything sneaks up on me. Dinner time, school runs, bedtime, showers, ohai… didn’t see you there. Were the other parent at home I’d be kept well in check with this! Lack of time brings us on to…
4. Housework needs to be done. I have a seemingly endless list of things needing done. Chiefly amongst these is the laundry. My normal life when Catty’s here involves this same work though so what’s that got to do with single-ness? Well the clothes are never in a compatible order, in that there’re not quite enough whites/blacks/reds/colours for a full load of any but just enough of each to fill the washing basket. This is because I have no fashion sense. The other day (and to qualify this pre-emptively, we weren’t supposed to be leaving the house, we all have doss around clothes don’t we?) Ashley got herself dressed. She’s 4 and has a similar thought of what passes for fashion as I do. She was wearing a striped navy and white sailor-suit type teeshirt and pink ¾-length shorts. Seemed fine to me for kicking about the house so I just let her wear it, if she’s happy what’s the problem right? So later on my aunt phones as her car won’t start after the snow, can I go and give her a jump start. “Sure thing, be right there… KIDS! Get your shoes on, we’re going to see Aunty Liz” So we all pile into the van and head over to do our 4th emergency service bit. My aunt only recently moved here, she works for NHS Grampian and lives for the time being in the accommodation block at Woodend Hospital. Basically a big communal flats thing. “Coming in for a cuppa?”, “Sure thing. Kids, let’s go inside.” Opening the side-door of the van here comes Ashley. Her, already questionable, outfit has been, errr, enhanced… with the addition of purple wellies. We’re about to go in to a place choc-a-bloc with student nurses. I’m sporting a ’70s pornstar style moustache as part of movember(thanks for your donations) and my kids look like rejects from stig of the dump. Remember the snow is piled high, we have no jackets with us and Ash is wearing shorts and wellies. This can only go well eh? (As I write this Ashley has decided today’s outfit is grey “school” tights under a black with pink polka-dotted dress.) If Catty was here the kids would be wearing suitably matching garments and my laundry loads would be more manageable. (That’s the theory anyway!)
5. There’s no money. There’s no getting around that money’s an integral part of modern life. I think many real-life single parents must find this a tough gig. I’m not struggling with the duties per sé but if I had to do this, and hold down a job, I’d need to be way more organised than I am now. As it is I’m only really playing at this as I’m effectively being bankrolled. However, I don’t have the money! Catty’s offshore with her bank card. I’m here with mine. Her wages go into her account. I was given an allowance as she left. Her trip was only to last 10 days. This is day 22… The money did last the ten days fine. *facepalm*
6. I can’t cook for five people. I can cook for one, I can cook for two and I can cook for six. These are the only numbers I need to use as I’m usually feeding only myself, myself and Ashley, or the whole family. Every time I’ve made anything there’s been a portion-worth left over. Even though I’m telling myself there’s one less to cook for, the food seems to expand to fit six plates. Alternatively when I do manage to repress the subliminal messages from my brain that the amounts aren’t right for 5 and actually reduce the portion, I have to go without because I’ve not cooked enough when it’s served up!! If anyone wants to lend themselves for a free meal you’re welcome, I was making it for you anyway…

I think that’s enough to be going on with now. Catty phoned again this morning. Her flight’s cancelled again with the weather, she’s also now stuck behind a crew-change. There was talk of her going off to Schiehallion in December but the last time she was on there they were stranded too. It’s basically a boat, so the limits for the choppers to land are far lower than on a fixed platform. There could well be a “single-parenting at Christmas” post to follow…

Continue reading »]]> So five or six months ago I was watching some woman on TV promoting ‘plus sized’(eugh I hate that phrase) clothing on the BBC News no less. I causally mentioned on twitter about it and a debate ensued involving the ethics, morality, physical and mental health issues surrounding obesity. My viewpoint in the debate was that it’s more important to be a healthy weight than to try to conform to a traditional ‘dress size’ system, which nobody really “fits” anyhow. The fat woman on TV was in effect saying it’s good to be obese. I felt that was a dangerous position for the many health reasons.

To cut a long story short, somehow folks got upset about it and as a result I lost followers. Yes, I know they were taking part in the debate off their own backs. Yes, I know nobody forced them to contribute. Yes my arguments were generalisations. Anyway, some folk took it as a personal assault I think and unfollowed me. Fair enough, that’s their prerogative. I’m a huge(pardon the pun) advocate of free speech and realise with that there is a freedom to be offended by said speech. I get it.

The trouble is, I didn’t even notice I’d lost them as followers until today when I sent a message to one and after no reply went to check it out. I saw that I was not following them and, putting it down to an error on my part during one of my ‘cleanings’ I clicked the follow button….

*shocked face*

The two people I noticed today were good twitter friends. They were conversational, engaging and (I thought) had a sense of humour. Didn’t take things too seriously. The kind of people we all have on our twitter streams and the staple of the network I suppose. If I can lose them as followers and not realise it then how many others have I lost over time? Twitter offers no API system to allow you to easily find this out either. You can get lists of users you’ve blocked yourself and you can check if an individual user is blocking you. You can’t get a list of blocks against you(or another user). I think this is something as a developer that should be available. I’m pretty sure we’d all at least have a look over who’s blocking us and brands might even have a use for the information with respect to development of their brand/product and target market(ing).

I felt guilty earlier, not about the initial debate, I stand by my viewpoint on that. I felt guilty because I’d not even realised these people weren’t just “being quiet these days”. A real friend would have questioned it far earlier than after five months! For this I can’t even apologise because I’m not just unfollowed, I’m blocked! lol I think as we are friends on other networks too perhaps I was slower to catch on as I get a daily “checking in” if you like, I still see them around.

So should you recognise yourself in this post please accept my apology on not noticing your protest and consider it noted now. I’m not apologising for using twitter to debate, I’m not apologising for holding a viewpoint or letting that view be known.

I’m apologising for being a poor friend. A friendship is a special thing that holds real value and I’m sorry that I broke ours.

btk

Unrelated PS… Yeah, my blog’s back online. I’ve lost some of the more recent posts as I got this from an old database backup I had lying about but that’s probably a gain. If I remember correctly the more recent posts were a little, well, mental!

Continue reading »]]> So I’m phoning thru to the Vodafone registration line to register one of the kids new mobiles. It’s a voice recognition system where you don’t press buttons on the keypad as normal, instead speaking clearly to the robot at the other side.

After 3 or four attempts, most failing at either postcode recognition or first line of your address, I decided to mimic the voice of the machine, a southern English accent.

FIRST TRY FTW!

But WTF man?

I was going to try it earlier but thought, “No, I’m not cheapening the accent by turning it off” eventually of course I favoured actually getting the job done.

Next time my renewal is up I’m moving to 3.

Continue reading »]]> What are you on about I hear you ask. Well here’s the story…

I’ve been looking out for a Wii Fit for Catty and was watching a status site for availability. These things are ridiculously difficult to come by at RRP, however after a while on this site the alert comes up that Toys R Us had re-stocked. Brilliant!

So I navigate over to Toys R Us and sure enough there’s the Wii Fit in stock! So I quickly log-in(yes I have an account there already) and click to check-out. DENIED, between me putting it in the basket and checking out it’s gone out of stock.

I guess there’s more than me watching that site then, never mind, I’ll keep it in the basket so next alert I just hit submit, kapowie!

SO that’s what I do, alert -kapowie! DENIED! FUCK!

Repeat this until the error changes from “stock levels changed” to “error with your bank detail”

Huh, wtf?

Sure enough, the account in question…

Your account details

Account balance: £286.72 DR

Available balance: Nil

Overdraft limit: £400.00

So upon phoning the bank we’re told

No way you’re getting money from us idiot, that’s the point of debit cards, the money is reserved now for the retailer.

but of course I never actually paid anything out!

Toys R Us can help no better, it works like this, they check your card BEFORE they reserve your goods, checking the card reserves your cash! Am I the only one who thinks that’s a bit ass-backwards? What’s wrong with reserving the items(the bit they actually control) first, then checking your card, if the card fails the items can be released back into stock. Not the other way round.

I should sue someone, I’ve now got no money in the run up to Xmas until the 5-10 days it takes to automatically release.

Yet another reason to hate banks. Come on paypal, give us the debit card already, these fuckers are doing my nut in!